In the Fade....

Dear my imaginary friends,

long time, no see, but I totally forgot about my blog in the last weeks. First of all because in my final weeks in Rome, I had 2 visitors, my friend Corina and my sister Eva.
We did the usual Rome trips and had a lot of fun. I brought them to the same places I have been to with my family and tried to make them see what I have been experiencing in my time in Rome.
I finished university in Rome, I passed all exams with pretty good scores. But to be honest, it wasn't that hard....

Now Im back home, at my mum's, which is kinda weird if you haven't been living at home for the last 6 years. But I get along well with my mum and my little sis, so it's fine...and it's temporary anyway...because on the 10th April Im going to the US to do some research for my diploma thesis at Stanford University...so there will be another blog soon!!! =)

To conclude my Italian experience I can say that I had a good time and made new friends. I didnt have the best time in my life because sometimes I felt a bit alone and forgotten...but Francesco, Gerry and Simona were great and my life there a funny experience....I also learned some Italian and some Roman slang....and you can always profit from knowing some languages...I was a bit upset that some people who I knew before I came to Rome, who were supposed to be friends, did not really care that much about me...and blamed it even on me...for sure, I was not without guilt...However, this kind of showed me how friendships work and killed my naiveté about human relations...which I'm thankful for...

I don't know if I will go back to Rome to live there, I can't say this now since I'm writing my thesis and as soon as my studies are done, I can decide....we'll see....but I'm always up for new places....and new experiences...

Thanks to the people who read my blog and who sometimes left comments....I really appreciate this....

So see you soon on my next blog, "Fear and Loathing in California"....Baci

pretty scary...

Hey im back for a super short update...

This weekend we have watched a pretty scary documentary called "Zeitgeist"....and the second part of it called "Zeitgeist Addendum"...

These documentaries discuss our life in this world, our society, economy and power structures and tries to cope with all the myth we blindly believe in like religion, money...
If you wanna know what is going on for real behind the curtains of your so-called society....take a look at these films or the web pages cited here:

Zeitgeist - The Movie - web site
Zeitgeist - The Movie - full film on google.videos (in English, other languages available!!)

Zeitgeist Addendum - full film on google.videos (in English, other languages available!!)

The Zeitgeist Movement - web site

For sure, it may be doubted that all these people say in this documentary is the truth but somehow if you add up all that you see, it could come close to it....however, the main message in these movies is that a change in society can only ake place when each individual changes its behavior and we start seeing ourselves again as part of the whole...individualism is fine but we're all human beings and since we know that things are not going right in this world, it is up to us to provoke change and not to some muppet politician who is sponsored by huge companies that dictate him what to do in exchange for the funding....

Ok, I stop the preaching...decide for youself...

It's Trivia...

Hey there!

Yes, I'm sick...GRANDE...my throat aches and my limbs hurt...but it's ok...I already have some pills that will make me happy...

So what have I been doing in the last days...basically, the usual crap which is not much....

I play the guitar every day for at least an hour and also try to write songs...some stuff I wrote is ok, I mean, this is kind of my first real try to make my very own music....I've been told I sound like this or that band...but I guess this is natural if you start writing songs since you can't develop a personal, new style at the very beginning...I think you lack ideas of how to do it...so you take some riffs that you like, make similar ones or distort the ones you like and there you go...I'm doing it like this and I have some clear ideas what songs should sound and feel like...
However, I'm a chicken and I don't wanna say the stuff I do is any good...but I'm happy that I'm able to create and let flow my own ideas instead of only covering the music that I like...we'll see what is going to happen...in the meanwhile I just keep playing with my headphones on so that the feedback and loud distortion doesn't annoy my neighbours and flatmates....
My voice, however, needs definitely some training....I used to have a pretty good voice when I was singin in a band in school...but right now I sound like a warm fart and this doesn't really satisfy me...it's also hard to sing loud in this house since you hear all the neighbours...and I don't wanna end up embarrassed....

I took my first oral exam in French last Thursday. For the course, which focused on how spoken French is being represented in written texts, I had to write an analysis of a chapter of a book called Zazie dans le métro...like always, I was late in preparing this and so Francesco and me went on a book hunt to get this god damn book in time for me...we went to one store, Fnac, they told me it was sold out...from there, we had to head for the city centre, which was pretty far, in the icy cold on the Vespa, almost frozen onto the Vespa seat...to go to the Feltrinelli International bookstore...I didn't immediately find the bugger and so for some moments I looked like this...However, I was there and I spend 8€ on a book that I probably won't read...
I went home and started the analysis when at some point I saw in my lecture notes that I had one more week to prepare, and not 2 days, because I messed up the exam date...
In the end, I did an analysis of overall 10 pages and it was ok...I'm a bit out of writing in French, however, and made super many useless mistakes....so I had to print the bastard again, and in Italy this is always an adventure since you have to go to a print shop at the right time of the day because every shop is closed between 1 and 4 p.m for PRANZO (lunch time)....and I keep forgetting this since we don't have these hours of repose anymore in Austria since the 1970s I think....
Last Thursday, I took the exam and the prof asked me one question and I talked for about 3min and it was done...he gave me 30 points, which is the top score in the Italian system...
I went home, bought a bottle of Nero D'Avola (a super strong Sicialian wine) and my flatmates, Cisco and me drank it for CENA (dinner)....
Friday afternoon, I went to Cisco's place in Latina...I already felt a bit bad...moody and weird, the usual...That night, we (Cisco, Alessio, SwEden and me) went to a pub in Pomezia (close to Rome) where 3 bands played...the first ones, were a Iron Maiden/Blaize Bailey cover band, pretty bad which a kinda nerd bassist, who always made the "metal-rock'n'roll-mano cornuto-rock on-whateverthefuckit'scalled"-sign with his hand and made me laugh so much...it was kind of embarrassing for him...but he was so convinced to be a rocker...
The second band was called TSUBO...and the guy who introduced them warned right: "Non scappate!!!" which means Don't run away!....they made grindcore of the hardest sort...the drummer was going so fuckin fast, I was totally stunned that this is actually possible...also the guitarists were fast as hell...but the music is not really easy-listening!!! It's kind of a huge noiseball with no visible structures, at least for people who are not into this thing...
The last bad, Milvines ( which I think should be a pun on "Melvins" and "The Vines, hahaha how smart!) played only 2 songs because the singer and guitarist was so wasted...I think I saw him throwing up before the show...and after the second song, he threw his guitar like Kurt Cobain...it was kind of inappropriate because they neither played a good show, nor did anything exciting...I guess he was just out of mind....
Then we went home....(how exciting, huh??)

On Saturday we went to Cisco's grandparents for lunch....and his grandma stuffed me like a Christmas turkey...past with fish, fried fish, salad, salmon, chocolate and cookies...I felt like a stone rolling home...we took also a pic of them and me...they are really super nice and cute...After this gluttony, we went for a ride to the beach and it was making me feel better...a nice beach, some warm sun on my skin....even though, I still had to wear a jacket....
Well, that's it basically.....just one film recommendation...Cisco and me have watched a movie called "You don't mess with the Zohan"...it's the latest Adam Sandler movie and it's hilarious...one of the most ridiculous movies I have ever seen..but it also has a nice message...I've you like this kind of random, digusting, nonsense-kinda humor, go for this one and you won't be disappointed....

One last thing: Please dedicated some your prayers to me and my application for the KWA student grand so that I can go to the USA to find the American Dream...God bless you!!! :-)

Grazie mille e auguri...

Take a look at who you are...pretty scary!

Ciao a tutti!!!

First of all, Happy New Year to everyone! I hope you all had a good Christmas time, got many presents and passed a nice New Year's Eve!!

I don't have very many news since I spent my holidays rather quietly. However, I have some new insights into the strange Italian mind to tell...

I spent Christmas in Latina, Francesco's hometown by the sea. On the evening of the 24th December, we went to have dinner at his grandparents' place...my first full-Italian family expierience with grandparents, parents and his aunt but turned out to be pretty much fun. The food was amazing: We had several different fish dishes, from fish salad to fried seafood and Spaghetti alle Vongole. Cisco's grandpa gave me also some Italian grappa which was pretty strong...his grandma wanted to show me some embarassing childhood pics of Cisco but she didn't find them....
We went home and as soon as it was past 12 (following the Italian tradition, not the Austrian), Cisco gave me his Christmas present....It's a super cool super cute Squier Bullet Strat in Daphne Blue (which actually like Green....)...here a pic of me with bad hair but a new best friend....I bought Cisco a real Ukulele and the Nirvana Unplugged in New York DVD...he likes the stuff a lot!!! I hope he'll play some punk tunes for me on the Uke...

On the 25th, we went back to Rome since Cisco had to play a show with his band in a club called Cube. The show was nice, many people we know have been there and at some point we even had fun throwing stuff around backstage and getting a bit drunk...(as you can see on these pics) we went dancing and Cisco asked the DJ to play Smells Like Teen Spirit because if he would Cisco would have stage-dived...however, the DJ fucked up and he played some weird Guns'n'Roses shit...at that point, the party started declining and all the fun was gone...so we went home...but for not without stopping by the rehearsal room since the band had to unload their stuff....
The day after, we returned to his hometown...and there I didn't do much except for sleeping long, watching movies and read. Cisco went to play cards several times - this is a crazy thing....in the Christmas period, Italian people meet to play cards at home, clearly for money...groups of about 10 people play until 4 or 5 o'clock in the morning...for me this is weird...I mean not even my older brother or my mum do this...my grandpa used to play cards a lot all the year round...but here this is like the custom....which i think is nice because you tend to meet people who you only see once a year...I think we should establish such a tradition ourselves, maybe not playing cards...but other games..!!??

On day in Latina, I went to the hairdresser because my hair looked awful and in Rome it's pretty expensive to do it. So a friend advised me a shop...and told us that the hairdresser looks like the singer of Aerosmith. We didn't believe until we actually opened the shop door and started laughing...it was Steven Tyler in person who seems, if not on tour, to like to cut hair. And Cisco had to explain him what I wanted since my Italian skills aren't enough to explain a haircut. Steven (his actual name is Renzo) did a good job...he was funny when he talked English with me...but I'm satisfied with the result...even though no one will ever be as good as my personal best haircutter ever Ulli who unfortunately will go to Portugal soon....Here in Italy it is more common to find a male hairdresser than in Austria where the business is dominated by females. They even say that if you wanna go to a good hairdresser, it's for sure a man....and not necessarily gay....
Another thing that stroke me was the fact that Italians don't know a Hot Chocolate with Rum...Cisco ordered this for me and he had to explain this to the waiter since he didn't know it...but in the end I got it...the prove can be seen here...
On 31st, we were hestiating pretty long about what to do...I'm not a friend of New Year's Eve...most parties are not fun and people tend to force themselves to have fun and do something special..which is kinda useless for me. So we waited until the last minute to decide what we do...However, we went again to his Cisco's grandparents' place and had dinner there...his grandma finally managed to show me some cute pics of Cisco as a little bimbo....
After dinner, we went to a place in the country side of Rome, the house of Lollo where a party was going on...we didn't know many people and they played only 90s dance music which at some point made me weird, so after Megha started singing a Rancid song, I took my Ipod, plugged it to the stereo and played Timebomb by Rancid. People danced like mad...after this I played some Billy Talent but the whole crowd kinda freaked out when I played Smells Like Teen Spirit. Suddenly the living room became a mosh pit and people played airguitar and jumped and screamed...but I guess that was the limit of rock for them because after it people left the room...so I unplugged the Ipod and made room for the dance sound...
For us, the fun was gone as people started leaving and where pretty drunk...we left and went to Rome...on the way there we started fighting about music...the usual discussion...

When we arrived in Rome, we went to the Traffic again because a guy we know had organised a Capodanno party there...we had a look but when we entered the club, it looked like some Chinese opium hole...people passing out on couches, it smelled like vomit and piss everywhere...downstairs people danced and screamed to Gigi D'Agostino....so after one Rhum e Pera we left and our final destination was the bed....

After this, we stayed for more days in Latina because we were pretty lazy....and since the 6th were back in Rome...even for the 7th which in Italy is the day of the Befana (a witch who fills up socks with sweets - I guess Italians messed up with Babbo Natale (the Italian version of Santa Clause) who actually fills the socks as for example in the US and a witch doesn't seem to be part of the Christian belief anyway since Christians used to burn witches....)
And after this, the holidays are over and we are back to normality, kind of...I have little blisters on my fingers from playing the guitar and I'm already able to play a bunch of Distillers and Nirvana songs...my favourite to play is Gallow is God from The Distillers (but sounds definitely a bit nirvanaesque hu hu hu)

Yesterday I went to the main uni to meet a professor to get a simple signature for the Erasmus....Guess what happened!? Even against all indications, the prof was not there and never showed up even though I waited like 45min....So I went home and slept..because it seems like I'm not able to sleep at night anymore...it takes me ages to fall asleep...my body is tired and wants nothing more than sleep but my mind is on fire and goes totally random...it's horrible feeling...especially if you suffer from this 3 nights in a row...I hope tonight I manage...

Well, that's enough from me, since I wanna brush my teeth, grab a book and hit the sack!!! Thanks for you attention! Baci from a rainy Rome...

Bury my Heart

Ciao a tutti!!

Some more days have past...time rushes by and I feel like I'm trapped in an infinite loop...I'm not doing so much, the usual, listening to music, reading, thinking about what I should do for my thesis instead of actually doing it because I'm scared as fuck....Paranoia a plagueging me and so I throw myself into another Nirvana frenzy...Vive les années 90!!

However, on the 12th December I forced Francesco on the Vespa to go to the Vice Squad show at a club here in Rome. I have never heard worse support bands...they really sucked so much!! One guy was wearing a pyjama on stage and they tried so hard to be REAL PUNKS that it was kinda funny to watch them. The second ones tried to sound like the US Bombs but sounded more like some kind of Italian mushipunk....when the last support band Pinta facile (means Easy Pint *g*) played, Francesco listened 10 seconds of their first song and then screamed Via, via! which means Go, go! because they were a superbad Oi!-Skinhead-kinda band...
Vice Squad were primarily super fast...the singer, Beki Bondage, who used to be a kind of Punk pin-up in the old days of punk, also played guitar and this incredibly well...you don't see so many punk women who play so well....and that fast....here a pic....

Then I tried to write on my thesis but ended up contacting another Professor for an academic interview on good old Thompson and actually Prof. William McKeen, who wrote 2 books on Hunter, is going to answer my stupid questions!!!
But to be able to interview him, I need to go to the US, which will only happen if I apply for the study grant...therefore, I try to write a motivational letter and also some of the questions I wanna ask...not so easy...and I'm so lazy and too bored to anything...

I'm so easily distracted from working on my thesis because I play the guitar so much that my fingers are almost open. A thick skin has already grown on them and I have blue streaks from playing so hard. However, I'm also writing songs...and maybe you'll get something to hear soon...I just need to wait for Babbo Natale to bring me an electric guitar because I wanna make some noise...zu zu zu zu zu

On Monday, I had my first presentation in an University course...the topic was the translation of the Ipod nano manual from German into French...and it went pretty well...I told them I was an Erasmus student...I had prepared a PowerPoint presentation, but as we are in Italy, the beamer didn't work and I had to do it without it...in the end, I got some applause, which made me feel embarassed...I didn't do anything better than the others....maybe my French impressed them so much ha ha ha...
On Thursday, I was in another uni course, it was so boring, I almost fell asleep...On Friday, I went to uni again but when I arrived at the classroom, no one was there, it was totally empty. So I waited some more minutes but no one showed up, so I went home again. Francesco's comment was: This is Italy! No one gives a shit here! and this seem too right...good for me however...

I also fell in love with a movie called "Dogfight" with River Phoenix. Everyone who knows me a bit, knows that I'm not a big fan of love movies and romances, only if they are a bit crazy maybe, see Sid & Nancy...but this movie is really funny, a bit weird, but also goes directly under your skin...it doesn't use many words...and it ends in one of the most beautiful scenes I've ever seen...and in silence...and with every River Phoenix movie I see, I feel more sad that such a talent died so young...which is true for some more people...you know who I mean...

This Friday, I went to Miuro's party with Sarusk, Flavia, Megha and Bebiu...I didn't know so many people there, so in the beginning I was a bit shy...but after some beer, I started talking to some nice people who I've never met before and all in Italian - alcohol definitely helps in languages...and for the first time since I'm here, I went home at 5!! Unfortunately, I didn't take any pics...but Bebiu did and I will ask him if he can gimme some...

Yesterday, was a show at Circolo called Romans do it better (I dunno what but maybe someone can explain this to me...), where all Roman bands like Your Hero, The Gaia Corporation played...I don't like the music but we went there later to see some friends...and after that Megha, Sarusk, Francesco and me went to a bar called Romoli, where they sell super fresh cornetti and sweet stuff in the night...One thing I don't get is how people, after drinking a lot of beer, can eat sweet stuff....I always feel like Goulash (I can't believe that you spell it like this!?!?) or something spicy...but they shove the cornetti and cappuccini in their mouthes like it is some kind of early morning breakfast...here a pic of Megha and also Sarusk...after the cornetti

Apropos sweet stuff...in the Christmas time, people here eat a sweet cake called Pandoro (see a pic)...and I'm in love with it...I knew the Panettone before but I don't like it since there are these dry fruits...Pandoro doesn't have them....and with milk it's just delicious!!





Something funny happened...On Facebook, I play this game called Pet Society where you can have a pet and need to take care of it (yes, I am this stupid!!)...mine is called Zingo Van Frizz and he likes to give presents to Francesco's pet called Fruzzy...one day, I bought a huge white snowman in the game and send it as a present to Fruzzy...but it never arrived there!! My pet had spent 1000 coins on a fuckin snowman that vanished...3 days I have been looking for it..I went to other pets houses to see if they stole it and placed it somewhere, I sent messages to other pets, to ask if they have seen the snowman but no one knew anything...I had almost given up on him, when suddenly one evening Francesco found him in his house..we don't know how this happened...

So much about my exciting life...
Baci...mi manchate...

PS: Music I listen to these days is: Spinnerette (ex- The Distillers) - Ghetto Love EP (still not so sure if I like it), Nirvana - Incesticide & In Utero, The Thermals - all albums, some more 90s stuff...

Back to Grey

Dear Boddah...

This weekend I finally had some visitors from home. My mum, my aunt and my little sister Anna-Lisa landed in Rome on Thursday to spend some days in the eternal city.
We had rented an appartment in the centre, in a super cute little street right around the corner of Via del Corso. When they arrived, we had to tune the heater because the whole flat was awefully cold. They have only one heater in the whole thing!! We brought my family some pizza from the best pizzeria in town in Via Nizza...they loved it. I also confessed to my mum that I got the tattoo because she hadn't known about it before...here her face when she saw it....but her reaction was very positive!!!

Then they went to sleep because they were a bit tired...I slept at my place and at 8 o'clock in the morning I got an sms from my mum saying that my aunt was suffering from diarrhea and was vomiting...so we went to the pharmacy and got some medcine...poor girl had to spend the whole day in bed....

In the meanwhile, my mum, my sister and me went to do some sightseeing...the weather sucked pretty much....but we managed NOT to buy an umbrella from one of those hundreds of umbrella-selling guys in the streets....we went to the usual sights in the centro storico: Pantheon, Piazza Venezia, Fori Imperiali, Colosseo....and my little sister was totally in love with this huge building....then it started to rain heavier, so we decided to go back to the apartment and spent the afternoon reading a book about Rome with my aunt sleeping on the couch.Saturday, my aunt was back in the game and we did the whole tour from the otherside again...and we also went to the famous Mondo Arancino, that I have already mentioned before, to get some lunch...my sister liked it pretty much...After that, we went to Castel Sant'Angelo, my sister started to cry because we didnt want to get inside since the entry fee was about 11€ which I personally considered a bit much...Then we went to the Basilica San Pietro which was very impressive and we were surprised that you can actually get in for free..which doesnt happen too often in Rome...My little sister is going to have her First Communion soon and therefore, she has a little paper in which she has to get a stamp from each mass or church she visits....we tried to get something like this in many churches in Rome but we never found someone to ask. So in San Pietro, I asked one of the securities and they brought us into the vestry of the dome to get it!! Now my little sister has a stamp of the Vatican inside her little church booklet....

After this exciting day, we had some wine and cheese in the little apartment...

On Sunday, we went to a very cool and totally crazy market called Porta Portese...my aunt proofed to be ready for the Italian way of life since she was dealing with people like a native =)
I bought some nice sunglasses and some black-red striped stockings...and my family went home with a lot of stuff...I also got an amazing Christmas present from my aunt that she bought there: This is a bronze skeleton in the famous thinker position...this guy just thought too much!!! I love it!! My first real piece of art...

After that we went for a traditional pranzo in a restaurant called Sale & Pepe which I can only recommend...good sea food. Ensuite, we went to do another walk in the Roman city centre. We saw Campo dei Fiori and from there we walked to Piazza Navona and then back to Via del Corso to take the bus to my place at Piazza San Silvestro...we rode to my place for a coffee, so that they could see under which circumstances I am living here...
When they left, I went to bed since I didnt feel well...my aunt had transmitted her virus to me...I took some medcine to prevent the worst...I also had a cold and was constantly wiping my nose!
At 4.30 o'clock in the morning, we got up to bring my family to the airport..they had their flight at 6:30!! Saying goodbye was pretty tough since I had a good time with them and I sometimes feel a bit lonely in Rome since my so-called friends turned out to be no friends at all...
The rest of the day I spent in bed, watching a movie called My own private Idaho with late River Phoenix who is amazing in this movie....

The next week, I'll put into the next blog...so much for now...and remember, when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro!!

Static Age...we're on a video rage

Dear my imaginative friends...

Times are tough....I'm caught in the first wave of the so-called winter depression that is eating up every kind of motivation or interest in anything or anyone...Moreover, people here don't seem to be into having contact with me...even the ones that I thought were friends...so Im hanging at home, watching movies, playing guitar and writing confused stuff into my notebook. Of course, there would be things to do like having a look around or finally starting to write my thesis. I have read so much but I'm kinda anxious to start writing my first chapter...
I think in some way I'm close to a major freak-out...but this week my mum, my aunt and my little sister Anna-Lisa come to visit me...so there is still something I can look forward to.

The uni here is breaking my balls...I have to do a presentation in a French course and I wrote a mail to the teacher asking for some further explanations...and she answered I should figure this out by myself! Thanks so much!!! Such a b*tch! So I will do something random...me ne frega un ca**o!
In the other course, I asked the teacher to find a solution with me for an exam possibility because I can only do 1 semester of a year-long course....at the beginning of the semester, she said that I will just have to hand in a written essay e basta....the last time I asked her she said, I need to come to her office hours because we need to fix a date for a written and oral exam!!!! What the fuck is wrong with these people???

Im really turning into a first class misanthropist....or like Joe Strummer put it: People are dehumanized....and this is true....
Concerning Joe...I watched a super well made documentary on the life of this impressive and warmhearted musician called "The Future is Unwritten"...have a look, it gives various interesting insights into his turbulent life...and he had just so much style...

Another smashing movie I saw is called The Heart is Deceitful Above all Things with the skilled Asia Argento as drug addicted, abusive anti-Mum....this movie is not for the faint-hearted..if you've like Tideland, you'll love this one too...
Im also back into the my 90s Nirvana and Kurt Cobain frenzy: I started listening to them when I was 9 years old and the outsider everyone made jokes about. They helped me through the divorce of my parents more than anyone else and when Kurt Cobain died, I spent 3 days totally upset and confused in my room. However, there are a lot of rumours around that in the end, he didnt kill himself but rather was forced into it or murdered. Normally, I don't give so much about these murder theories that exist for all kinds of stars or heros of our time, even for Hunter S. Thompsons who said that he couldn't appreciate life if he didn't have the option to kill himself any time. But in the case of Kurt Cobain, there are various inconsistencies in the facts that propose a suicide. If you are interest in this, check out these pages:
The Death of Kurt Cobain
The Cobain Case

I can't say it was murder or not but I think there are a lot of doubts around...maybe they reopen the case and we'll know more...but I don't think this is going to happen as long as Courtney Love lives who might be involved in a conspiracy....I don't trust her for real, just check her lyrics on the Hole album Live through This....even though this album is amazing....and has also probably been written by or with the help of Kurt and everyone who knows Nirvana can hear this...

Ok, this was enough useless information for another week...I'll go back to maybe, but only maybe, start writing my thesis.....ha ha ha