Times are tough....I'm caught in the first wave of the so-called winter depression that is eating up every kind of motivation or interest in anything or anyone...Moreover, people here don't seem to be into having contact with me...even the ones that I thought were friends...so Im hanging at home, watching movies, playing guitar and writing confused stuff into my notebook. Of course, there would be things to do like having a look around or finally starting to write my thesis. I have read so much but I'm kinda anxious to start writing my first chapter...
I think in some way I'm close to a major freak-out...but this week my mum, my aunt and my little sister Anna-Lisa come to visit me...so there is still something I can look forward to.
The uni here is breaking my balls...I have to do a presentation in a French course and I wrote a mail to the teacher asking for some further explanations...and she answered I should figure this out by myself! Thanks so much!!! Such a b*tch! So I will do something random...me ne frega un ca**o!
In the other course, I asked the teacher to find a solution with me for an exam possibility because I can only do 1 semester of a year-long course....at the beginning of the semester, she said that I will just have to hand in a written essay e basta....the last time I asked her she said, I need to come to her office hours because we need to fix a date for a written and oral exam!!!! What the fuck is wrong with these people???
Im really turning into a first class misanthropist....or like Joe Strummer put it: People are dehumanized....and this is true....
Concerning Joe...I watched a super well made documentary on the life of this impressive and warmhearted musician called "The Future is Unwritten"...have a look, it gives various interesting insights into his turbulent life...and he had just so much style...
Another smashing movie I saw is called The Heart is Deceitful Above all Things with the skilled Asia Argento as drug addicted, abusive anti-Mum....this movie is not for the faint-hearted..if you've like Tideland, you'll love this one too...
Im also back into the my 90s Nirvana and Kurt Cobain frenzy: I started listening to them when I was 9 years old and the outsider everyone made jokes about. They helped me through the divorce of my parents more than anyone else and when Kurt Cobain died, I spent 3 days totally upset and confused in my room. However, there are a lot of rumours around that in the end, he didnt kill himself but rather was forced into it or murdered. Normally, I don't give so much about these murder theories that exist for all kinds of stars or heros of our time, even for Hunter S. Thompsons who said that he couldn't appreciate life if he didn't have the option to kill himself any time. But in the case of Kurt Cobain, there are various inconsistencies in the facts that propose a suicide. If you are interest in this, check out these pages:The Death of Kurt Cobain
The Cobain Case
I can't say it was murder or not but I think there are a lot of doubts around...maybe they reopen the case and we'll know more...but I don't think this is going to happen as long as Courtney Love lives who might be involved in a conspiracy....I don't trust her for real, just check her lyrics on the Hole album Live through This....even though this album is amazing....and has also probably been written by or with the help of Kurt and everyone who knows Nirvana can hear this...
Ok, this was enough useless information for another week...I'll go back to maybe, but only maybe, start writing my thesis.....ha ha ha
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