Bury my Heart

Ciao a tutti!!

Some more days have past...time rushes by and I feel like I'm trapped in an infinite loop...I'm not doing so much, the usual, listening to music, reading, thinking about what I should do for my thesis instead of actually doing it because I'm scared as fuck....Paranoia a plagueging me and so I throw myself into another Nirvana frenzy...Vive les années 90!!

However, on the 12th December I forced Francesco on the Vespa to go to the Vice Squad show at a club here in Rome. I have never heard worse support bands...they really sucked so much!! One guy was wearing a pyjama on stage and they tried so hard to be REAL PUNKS that it was kinda funny to watch them. The second ones tried to sound like the US Bombs but sounded more like some kind of Italian mushipunk....when the last support band Pinta facile (means Easy Pint *g*) played, Francesco listened 10 seconds of their first song and then screamed Via, via! which means Go, go! because they were a superbad Oi!-Skinhead-kinda band...
Vice Squad were primarily super fast...the singer, Beki Bondage, who used to be a kind of Punk pin-up in the old days of punk, also played guitar and this incredibly well...you don't see so many punk women who play so well....and that fast....here a pic....

Then I tried to write on my thesis but ended up contacting another Professor for an academic interview on good old Thompson and actually Prof. William McKeen, who wrote 2 books on Hunter, is going to answer my stupid questions!!!
But to be able to interview him, I need to go to the US, which will only happen if I apply for the study grant...therefore, I try to write a motivational letter and also some of the questions I wanna ask...not so easy...and I'm so lazy and too bored to anything...

I'm so easily distracted from working on my thesis because I play the guitar so much that my fingers are almost open. A thick skin has already grown on them and I have blue streaks from playing so hard. However, I'm also writing songs...and maybe you'll get something to hear soon...I just need to wait for Babbo Natale to bring me an electric guitar because I wanna make some noise...zu zu zu zu zu

On Monday, I had my first presentation in an University course...the topic was the translation of the Ipod nano manual from German into French...and it went pretty well...I told them I was an Erasmus student...I had prepared a PowerPoint presentation, but as we are in Italy, the beamer didn't work and I had to do it without it...in the end, I got some applause, which made me feel embarassed...I didn't do anything better than the others....maybe my French impressed them so much ha ha ha...
On Thursday, I was in another uni course, it was so boring, I almost fell asleep...On Friday, I went to uni again but when I arrived at the classroom, no one was there, it was totally empty. So I waited some more minutes but no one showed up, so I went home again. Francesco's comment was: This is Italy! No one gives a shit here! and this seem too right...good for me however...

I also fell in love with a movie called "Dogfight" with River Phoenix. Everyone who knows me a bit, knows that I'm not a big fan of love movies and romances, only if they are a bit crazy maybe, see Sid & Nancy...but this movie is really funny, a bit weird, but also goes directly under your skin...it doesn't use many words...and it ends in one of the most beautiful scenes I've ever seen...and in silence...and with every River Phoenix movie I see, I feel more sad that such a talent died so young...which is true for some more people...you know who I mean...

This Friday, I went to Miuro's party with Sarusk, Flavia, Megha and Bebiu...I didn't know so many people there, so in the beginning I was a bit shy...but after some beer, I started talking to some nice people who I've never met before and all in Italian - alcohol definitely helps in languages...and for the first time since I'm here, I went home at 5!! Unfortunately, I didn't take any pics...but Bebiu did and I will ask him if he can gimme some...

Yesterday, was a show at Circolo called Romans do it better (I dunno what but maybe someone can explain this to me...), where all Roman bands like Your Hero, The Gaia Corporation played...I don't like the music but we went there later to see some friends...and after that Megha, Sarusk, Francesco and me went to a bar called Romoli, where they sell super fresh cornetti and sweet stuff in the night...One thing I don't get is how people, after drinking a lot of beer, can eat sweet stuff....I always feel like Goulash (I can't believe that you spell it like this!?!?) or something spicy...but they shove the cornetti and cappuccini in their mouthes like it is some kind of early morning breakfast...here a pic of Megha and also Sarusk...after the cornetti

Apropos sweet stuff...in the Christmas time, people here eat a sweet cake called Pandoro (see a pic)...and I'm in love with it...I knew the Panettone before but I don't like it since there are these dry fruits...Pandoro doesn't have them....and with milk it's just delicious!!





Something funny happened...On Facebook, I play this game called Pet Society where you can have a pet and need to take care of it (yes, I am this stupid!!)...mine is called Zingo Van Frizz and he likes to give presents to Francesco's pet called Fruzzy...one day, I bought a huge white snowman in the game and send it as a present to Fruzzy...but it never arrived there!! My pet had spent 1000 coins on a fuckin snowman that vanished...3 days I have been looking for it..I went to other pets houses to see if they stole it and placed it somewhere, I sent messages to other pets, to ask if they have seen the snowman but no one knew anything...I had almost given up on him, when suddenly one evening Francesco found him in his house..we don't know how this happened...

So much about my exciting life...
Baci...mi manchate...

PS: Music I listen to these days is: Spinnerette (ex- The Distillers) - Ghetto Love EP (still not so sure if I like it), Nirvana - Incesticide & In Utero, The Thermals - all albums, some more 90s stuff...

Back to Grey

Dear Boddah...

This weekend I finally had some visitors from home. My mum, my aunt and my little sister Anna-Lisa landed in Rome on Thursday to spend some days in the eternal city.
We had rented an appartment in the centre, in a super cute little street right around the corner of Via del Corso. When they arrived, we had to tune the heater because the whole flat was awefully cold. They have only one heater in the whole thing!! We brought my family some pizza from the best pizzeria in town in Via Nizza...they loved it. I also confessed to my mum that I got the tattoo because she hadn't known about it before...here her face when she saw it....but her reaction was very positive!!!

Then they went to sleep because they were a bit tired...I slept at my place and at 8 o'clock in the morning I got an sms from my mum saying that my aunt was suffering from diarrhea and was vomiting...so we went to the pharmacy and got some medcine...poor girl had to spend the whole day in bed....

In the meanwhile, my mum, my sister and me went to do some sightseeing...the weather sucked pretty much....but we managed NOT to buy an umbrella from one of those hundreds of umbrella-selling guys in the streets....we went to the usual sights in the centro storico: Pantheon, Piazza Venezia, Fori Imperiali, Colosseo....and my little sister was totally in love with this huge building....then it started to rain heavier, so we decided to go back to the apartment and spent the afternoon reading a book about Rome with my aunt sleeping on the couch.Saturday, my aunt was back in the game and we did the whole tour from the otherside again...and we also went to the famous Mondo Arancino, that I have already mentioned before, to get some lunch...my sister liked it pretty much...After that, we went to Castel Sant'Angelo, my sister started to cry because we didnt want to get inside since the entry fee was about 11€ which I personally considered a bit much...Then we went to the Basilica San Pietro which was very impressive and we were surprised that you can actually get in for free..which doesnt happen too often in Rome...My little sister is going to have her First Communion soon and therefore, she has a little paper in which she has to get a stamp from each mass or church she visits....we tried to get something like this in many churches in Rome but we never found someone to ask. So in San Pietro, I asked one of the securities and they brought us into the vestry of the dome to get it!! Now my little sister has a stamp of the Vatican inside her little church booklet....

After this exciting day, we had some wine and cheese in the little apartment...

On Sunday, we went to a very cool and totally crazy market called Porta Portese...my aunt proofed to be ready for the Italian way of life since she was dealing with people like a native =)
I bought some nice sunglasses and some black-red striped stockings...and my family went home with a lot of stuff...I also got an amazing Christmas present from my aunt that she bought there: This is a bronze skeleton in the famous thinker position...this guy just thought too much!!! I love it!! My first real piece of art...

After that we went for a traditional pranzo in a restaurant called Sale & Pepe which I can only recommend...good sea food. Ensuite, we went to do another walk in the Roman city centre. We saw Campo dei Fiori and from there we walked to Piazza Navona and then back to Via del Corso to take the bus to my place at Piazza San Silvestro...we rode to my place for a coffee, so that they could see under which circumstances I am living here...
When they left, I went to bed since I didnt feel well...my aunt had transmitted her virus to me...I took some medcine to prevent the worst...I also had a cold and was constantly wiping my nose!
At 4.30 o'clock in the morning, we got up to bring my family to the airport..they had their flight at 6:30!! Saying goodbye was pretty tough since I had a good time with them and I sometimes feel a bit lonely in Rome since my so-called friends turned out to be no friends at all...
The rest of the day I spent in bed, watching a movie called My own private Idaho with late River Phoenix who is amazing in this movie....

The next week, I'll put into the next blog...so much for now...and remember, when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro!!

Static Age...we're on a video rage

Dear my imaginative friends...

Times are tough....I'm caught in the first wave of the so-called winter depression that is eating up every kind of motivation or interest in anything or anyone...Moreover, people here don't seem to be into having contact with me...even the ones that I thought were friends...so Im hanging at home, watching movies, playing guitar and writing confused stuff into my notebook. Of course, there would be things to do like having a look around or finally starting to write my thesis. I have read so much but I'm kinda anxious to start writing my first chapter...
I think in some way I'm close to a major freak-out...but this week my mum, my aunt and my little sister Anna-Lisa come to visit me...so there is still something I can look forward to.

The uni here is breaking my balls...I have to do a presentation in a French course and I wrote a mail to the teacher asking for some further explanations...and she answered I should figure this out by myself! Thanks so much!!! Such a b*tch! So I will do something random...me ne frega un ca**o!
In the other course, I asked the teacher to find a solution with me for an exam possibility because I can only do 1 semester of a year-long course....at the beginning of the semester, she said that I will just have to hand in a written essay e basta....the last time I asked her she said, I need to come to her office hours because we need to fix a date for a written and oral exam!!!! What the fuck is wrong with these people???

Im really turning into a first class misanthropist....or like Joe Strummer put it: People are dehumanized....and this is true....
Concerning Joe...I watched a super well made documentary on the life of this impressive and warmhearted musician called "The Future is Unwritten"...have a look, it gives various interesting insights into his turbulent life...and he had just so much style...

Another smashing movie I saw is called The Heart is Deceitful Above all Things with the skilled Asia Argento as drug addicted, abusive anti-Mum....this movie is not for the faint-hearted..if you've like Tideland, you'll love this one too...
Im also back into the my 90s Nirvana and Kurt Cobain frenzy: I started listening to them when I was 9 years old and the outsider everyone made jokes about. They helped me through the divorce of my parents more than anyone else and when Kurt Cobain died, I spent 3 days totally upset and confused in my room. However, there are a lot of rumours around that in the end, he didnt kill himself but rather was forced into it or murdered. Normally, I don't give so much about these murder theories that exist for all kinds of stars or heros of our time, even for Hunter S. Thompsons who said that he couldn't appreciate life if he didn't have the option to kill himself any time. But in the case of Kurt Cobain, there are various inconsistencies in the facts that propose a suicide. If you are interest in this, check out these pages:
The Death of Kurt Cobain
The Cobain Case

I can't say it was murder or not but I think there are a lot of doubts around...maybe they reopen the case and we'll know more...but I don't think this is going to happen as long as Courtney Love lives who might be involved in a conspiracy....I don't trust her for real, just check her lyrics on the Hole album Live through This....even though this album is amazing....and has also probably been written by or with the help of Kurt and everyone who knows Nirvana can hear this...

Ok, this was enough useless information for another week...I'll go back to maybe, but only maybe, start writing my thesis.....ha ha ha